We live in a world of social media where our happiest moments are captured at the snap of a button, edited with the most complimentary filter possible, and then shared for all to see. It’s most always the beautiful moments that we open up to others, and the less lovely instances are quickly deleted so as never to see the light of day.
As a Christian woman it’s easy to dress up your family in color-coordinating outfits, haul everyone hurriedly off to church, and smile pleasantly at passerby’s of your pew like you are the happiest family to ever be, and like there were never raised voices and tears prior to your arrival for Sunday morning service.
Let’s face it, we’re all human, and our actions will never be quite as they should be. We will always be in the good race to obtain those traits presented in Proverbs 31, and we will fall short many times, but too often we miss the mark of where it all starts. Too often we as women desire to give ourselves to our community, our friends, and our congregation, but The Lord is calling us to start in our home.
The calling of a Christian woman starts on her own doorstep, and until we can perform as Christ intended within our own home then all the smiles, tithes, and pretty pictures presenting a loving family mean nothing. Our mission of love must start in our home, and only then may we successfully flow love from there.
It resides with how you treat your children, and it begins with how you interact with your spouse. God calls His daughters to be women of virtue, and this is such a lofty position we hold. It’s one that we should take with utmost seriousness, and we can never underestimate the role we serve in furthering the Kingdom by being Godly wives.
There are certain characteristics a virtuous wife exhibits, and her calling to be like Jesus starts in her relationship with her spouse.
1. Helpmate.
Wives are called to be a helpmate, and this call to companionship is of extreme importance. A helpmate is a team player in the marriage, and a helpmate understands that each partner in the holy union must give all of themselves to further the relationship. It’s not a 50/50 kind of deal, but more like a 100/100. A helpmate understands that somedays their partner may not be at their best, but it is in these instances that a true companion steps in to pick up the slack.
2. Trusts.
I do believe that trust is something that must be built, and it is also something that must be maintained, but too often in relationships women find it difficult to trust. Due to instances where they have been hurt by a man, be it a father figure or another relationship, many women find trust a difficult characteristic to walk in. Their past pain makes them untrusting, but God calls us to put faith in our marriage. Some men are untrustworthy, but all of them are not. We must be willing to surrender our hearts completely to our husbands, and put faith in their actions. A virtuous woman places her trust in The Lord, and through the healing of that relationship she may find it possible to build and maintain trust in human ones also.
3. Compliments.
A virtuous wife strives to build up her man, not tear him down. She will desire to speak life into her marriage, not be the death of it. She will seek ways to find the best attributes of her spouse, and she will ruminate on those. She will fan the flame of his confidence, she will inspire him with loving words, and she will back up her compliments with adoring actions that represent her praise. A virtuous wife realizes her affections will be reciprocated in time, but she doesn’t perform based on what she can get out of the relationship. She serves the marriage out of selfless love, and while walking in this mindset she finds it quite easy to speak words of love and affirmation to her husband.
4. Honors.
A virtuous wife strives to honor her spouse. She realizes from God’s word that honor in marriage is a characteristic for both parties, but she doesn’t act honorable only when she feels it’s reciprocated. She honors her husband because this is what God commands for her as a wife. She knows diligence will show her a return of what she puts forth, and she understands her loving respect of her husband honors her relationship with The Lord.
A wife who honors her spouse gives him the freedom to make decisions for the family, and though they are a team unit, she still honors him when their opinion differs. A honorable wife encourages strength in her husband; she doesn’t strip it from him. An honorable wife trusts The Lord to work in her husband’s life, and she doesn’t try to take that job away from Him. If you trust The Lord to help your husband lead the family then you have to let go of trying it lead it solely yourself. A virtuous wife doesn’t fear her husband by honoring him, rather she fears The Lord.
5. Prays.
I think this is the most important. A virtuous wife prays for her spouse, but it doesn’t stop there. She prays diligently, without ceasing. She prays selflessly, not praying for what’s in her best interest, but in what’s God’s best for him. A virtuous wife knows her best contribution to her husband is her prayer life for him. She knows that in so many instances she cannot change circumstances or change her spouse, but that nothing is impossible with God.
As a Christian woman it’s easy to dress up your family in color-coordinating outfits, haul everyone hurriedly off to church, and smile pleasantly at passerby’s of your pew like you are the happiest family to ever be, and like there were never raised voices and tears prior to your arrival for Sunday morning service.
Let’s face it, we’re all human, and our actions will never be quite as they should be. We will always be in the good race to obtain those traits presented in Proverbs 31, and we will fall short many times, but too often we miss the mark of where it all starts. Too often we as women desire to give ourselves to our community, our friends, and our congregation, but The Lord is calling us to start in our home.
The calling of a Christian woman starts on her own doorstep, and until we can perform as Christ intended within our own home then all the smiles, tithes, and pretty pictures presenting a loving family mean nothing. Our mission of love must start in our home, and only then may we successfully flow love from there.
It resides with how you treat your children, and it begins with how you interact with your spouse. God calls His daughters to be women of virtue, and this is such a lofty position we hold. It’s one that we should take with utmost seriousness, and we can never underestimate the role we serve in furthering the Kingdom by being Godly wives.
There are certain characteristics a virtuous wife exhibits, and her calling to be like Jesus starts in her relationship with her spouse.
1. Helpmate.
Wives are called to be a helpmate, and this call to companionship is of extreme importance. A helpmate is a team player in the marriage, and a helpmate understands that each partner in the holy union must give all of themselves to further the relationship. It’s not a 50/50 kind of deal, but more like a 100/100. A helpmate understands that somedays their partner may not be at their best, but it is in these instances that a true companion steps in to pick up the slack.
2. Trusts.
I do believe that trust is something that must be built, and it is also something that must be maintained, but too often in relationships women find it difficult to trust. Due to instances where they have been hurt by a man, be it a father figure or another relationship, many women find trust a difficult characteristic to walk in. Their past pain makes them untrusting, but God calls us to put faith in our marriage. Some men are untrustworthy, but all of them are not. We must be willing to surrender our hearts completely to our husbands, and put faith in their actions. A virtuous woman places her trust in The Lord, and through the healing of that relationship she may find it possible to build and maintain trust in human ones also.
3. Compliments.
A virtuous wife strives to build up her man, not tear him down. She will desire to speak life into her marriage, not be the death of it. She will seek ways to find the best attributes of her spouse, and she will ruminate on those. She will fan the flame of his confidence, she will inspire him with loving words, and she will back up her compliments with adoring actions that represent her praise. A virtuous wife realizes her affections will be reciprocated in time, but she doesn’t perform based on what she can get out of the relationship. She serves the marriage out of selfless love, and while walking in this mindset she finds it quite easy to speak words of love and affirmation to her husband.
4. Honors.
A virtuous wife strives to honor her spouse. She realizes from God’s word that honor in marriage is a characteristic for both parties, but she doesn’t act honorable only when she feels it’s reciprocated. She honors her husband because this is what God commands for her as a wife. She knows diligence will show her a return of what she puts forth, and she understands her loving respect of her husband honors her relationship with The Lord.
A wife who honors her spouse gives him the freedom to make decisions for the family, and though they are a team unit, she still honors him when their opinion differs. A honorable wife encourages strength in her husband; she doesn’t strip it from him. An honorable wife trusts The Lord to work in her husband’s life, and she doesn’t try to take that job away from Him. If you trust The Lord to help your husband lead the family then you have to let go of trying it lead it solely yourself. A virtuous wife doesn’t fear her husband by honoring him, rather she fears The Lord.
5. Prays.
I think this is the most important. A virtuous wife prays for her spouse, but it doesn’t stop there. She prays diligently, without ceasing. She prays selflessly, not praying for what’s in her best interest, but in what’s God’s best for him. A virtuous wife knows her best contribution to her husband is her prayer life for him. She knows that in so many instances she cannot change circumstances or change her spouse, but that nothing is impossible with God.
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